Field Trip

Field Trip

here is our story of the day we left The Office....

Dwight: So you excited?
Ryan: Yeah.
Dwight: Very excited?
Ryan: Yes. I'm very excited.
Dwight: Extremely excited? ... Just very? That's cool.


Dwight: One of my life goals was to die right here in my desk chair. And today, that dream was shattered.


Marni: "I'm not used to being outside at this hour." (starts panting and sweating profusely)

Jim: After you sir.
Dwight: No thank you, I never let anyone walk behind me. Seven out of ten attacks are from the rear.
Jim: Ok, well, that still leaves a 30% chance that I will attack you from the front.
Dwight: Uh, yeah, but it will be easier to stop. I can always block the blow. I can counter it with...



Jim: Seriously? You're going to sit in the back?
Dwight: Uh, yeah. It's the safest part of the car. In the event of a crash, the driver always protects his side of the car first.


Ryan: Hey Dwight, you're a great salesman. Can you teach me? Sure, Ryan. I'll make you the ole commodor. I'll abandon you in a beet field. Huh. That sounds great, Dwight, I'll really appreciate that. Thank you so much for your mentorship.
Dwight: Congratulations resourceful salesman. You have passed the second challenge. Welcome to Schrute Farm.


Dwight: It is time for your next test. You have planted the beet seed. You have walked the long lonely walk of loneliness.




5 minutes after arrival, I have managed to spill coffee all over the mahogany desk and very important documents.


Karen: Thanks. That was fun.
Phyllis: Yeah, I really enjoy spending time with you. You are a very nice person.
Karen: Thank you.

Marni- your birthday is over.

Despite Marni's birthday being over for 4 days... she wrote Alejandro a friendly reminder to sign her own birthday card. Complete with instructions for our other co-workers to sign as well, since no one signed it on her birthday. 

Video: 6:18

MARNI'S BIRTHDAY! 

Donald Knuth

Donald who?????
Exactly.
According to boss man, the coolest person in the world.
Read on...

[Speakerphone conversation between Cristobal and Diego]
Cristobal: For security reasons we can't send out checks from that account. that's why Donald Knuth doesn't cut checks anymore.

*Marni and Emily erupt into laughter*
*Cristobal looks a little flustered*
Marni: Who in the WORLD is DONALD KNUTH??
Cristobal: Diego, they are laughing because they don't know who Donald Knuth is.

After a quick google search, I find him.

Donald Knuth, programming extraordinaire






Now this just makes the whole thing even funnier.

[Emily and I continue laughing]
Cristobal describes in detail a book he owns that Donald Knuth has written.
Cristobal: Get the book!
Marni & Emily: hahahahha
Cristobal: Get the book! Get the book!! (Chris motions for Marni to walk down the hall) Shoo! Go!

[Cristobal eventually caves and goes to get the book to which he is referring]
Cristobal: Look...(ruffles through pages)...wait, where is it???...
I start to document what he's saying
Cristobal: Wait, really....(page, page, page)...look....oh, stop writing what I'm saying...
Emily and Marni: hahahaha
Cristobal: Ok, look here (pointing)...This is how smart Donald is...he creates a whole dense language!
Emily and Marni: hahahahah
Cristobal: And he's a fantastic organist...he's a professor emeritus at stanford university

(continues to frantically search through one of his books for more proof of Donald Knuth's awesomeness)
Emily and Marni: Organist??? bahahahaha

Cristobal: (Perhaps a little perturbed at this point) Do you know what this is? (points to a formula in the book)
[We're clueless]
Cristobal: A hexidecimal dollar...duh...and this is the kind of thing you put in your resume: "You found an error in Donald Knuth's book!!!!" (followed by an elaborate explanation of the check scanning scheme)

[He now demands we 'expand our brains' and learn the above forumla]
Cristobal: What's the hexidecimal of 1.00?
Marni: (silence. perplexed look)
Cristobal: OH COME ON! You KNOW this!
Marni: (thinking: Really? does he think I know this???) Um, no...

[Then he gives a math lesson in hexidecimal conversion. I actually did learn basically how to do a hexadecimal conversion]

[After re-counting favorite memories of Donald Knuth comes the clincher]
Cristobal: YOU may look like Donald Knuth in 40 years
Marni: WHAT?!?!?
Cristobal: Ok, maybe not 40, but possibly 60
Marni: You think I'm going to look like Donald KNUTH???
Cristobal: Oh, you're so vain.

[Later on in the day, Marni chats with Juan]
Juan: Now I can add "Donald" to the list of incorrect names I occasionally call you by
Marni: lol...you don't know who he is? (hoping for some ammo to use against Cristobal)
Juan: no, I do...I study his work
Marni: are you being for real?
Juan: Cristobal had a set of his books to give me...I really wanted them, but I didn't have room to pack them.
Marni: Oh yeah? Well if you study Donald Knuth so much...solve this: 0x7.00...GO!
Juan: (long pause) er, that's not really a valid expression or literal...hexadecimal digits don't really have decimal points

[Enter Juan and his ability to compute binary code in his head]

Juan: well, 700 in hex is gonna be.....er...... well, it's 0111 0000 0000 in binary...which makes....er......1024+512+256 or 1792 in base 10...had to write it down. i can't really do higher than 256 in my had head
Marni: um...the way I did it was much easier.
Juan: I did it the long way for practice......plus i'm more used to thinking in base 2
Marni: ah...of course...beloved base 2 (??????)
Juan: it's the best

It is the best...As is Donald Knuth.

Petty Cash and RC Cola Time

Back in November, I had $4 of "petty cash" in my desk drawer. Cristobal asked for a dollar from "petty cash" so he could get an RC Cola. In December, I used the remaining $3 to mail something via certified mail. I had a couple quarters, a few dimes, nickels, and many pennies left in "petty cash". Since then, I have not replenished the "petty cash" fund. It's mostly pennies by now, June 1st.

Anywhere from 2 - 4PM is RC Cola Time. This is the conversation Cristobal and I have had almost daily at RC Cola Time since December:

Cristobal: Hey can I have a dollar from petty cash?

Emily: We don't have any petty cash.

Cristobal: What?? No petty cash?

Emily: Nope. No petty cash. Not since December.

Cristobal: Are you sure?

*He leans over my desk to examine my drawer of pennies, looks confused, and sighs.*

....He then mopes back to his office to find some other means of funding his RC Cola addiction, which turns out to be his desk drawer that is full of quarters. RC Cola Time is not to be truffled with.

#4. Why our Boss is Dwight Schrute

Marni: Cristobal, look how tan I am.

Cristobal: Pfft. You are from Minnesota, you will never be tan.

Marni: I was in the sun all weekend!

Cristobal: Did you swim around or did you just lay out?

Marni: Just lay out.

Cristobal: Ha. What a shame. What a waste of your youth.