How I Make It Through Friday

g-chat : 2000's :: email : 1990's

today we learned how to link our twitter accounts to our facebook pages. if you dare, re-live this moment with us...

marni: I kind of want to link my twitter to my fb...so I actually use twitter

emily: HAHAH do it!!!

marni: hm. can't figure out how #blessmyheart

emily: http://support.twitter.com/articles/200773-i-x2019-m-having-trouble-using-twitter-with-facebook

marni: ahh...it is through fb

emily: yah weird

FB does control all

marni: creepy

emily: i'll test it

i linked them

dont know how to make it go to FB tho...

marni: mine acts like it's still loading

it's taking forever

emily: its not

click out of that

marni: oh

ok

emily: see my tweets?

marni: no

emily: me either...

seeking help

if it goes to your facebook first...mark my words!!

marni: baha

emily: ohhhh

that checked box on the facebook apps page DOES have to finish loading

i was wrong

#again

#fail

#failure

#sorrymom

marni: haha

marni: you little.....

{emily tweeted: yes i beat @marniwalsh at figuring out twitter + facebook = ♥}

emily: MAUHAHAHAHAH

{marni tweeted: work now? #gettingimpatient}

marni: YESSSSS

it WORKED

emily: i beat youuu

marni: you gave me faulty information

emily: sucker

{marni tweeted: hellloooooo twitter to facebook! #imanewwoman}

emily: thats your problem not mine

marni: or is it....?

#judgementday

muahahhaa

{marni tweeted: emily is a cheater and a liar #faultyinformationisbad}

emily: lozer

people are going to start blocking you if you don't control your tweets

marni: this is dangerous

#losingcontrol

emily: hehehehe

{marni tweeted: I apologize for the flood of tweets. calming down now. #facebookmakestwitterfun}

marni: baha

love this

emily: #toofun

marni: it's like MAGIC when it appears on my wall!

#houdini

emily: #ghandi

#buda

#ohwait

marni: #jesus

emily: #davidcopperfield

marni: saved us both

marni: #theworldisabetterplacewithhashtagsI'mjustsaying

emily: #stopsneezing

#itsnasty

#psiloveyou

marni: #grrrr

#youcan'tjustsaypsiloveyouandmakeeverythingbetter

emily: #thatsexactlywhatitdoes

#psiloveyou

#you stink

#psiloveyou

marni: #youarepushingmybuttons!!!

#ourhumorhasreachedanewlevelwithhashtags

The Elevator Shuffle

An elevator is the most awkward space in the entire world!!!! I dread the elevators! I am an outgoing person, but something about the elevator just takes the wind out of my sails and I find myself struggling to even muster up a full-strength "hi" to a stranger. It comes out being a very high-pitched whisper.....

"hhh...i"

...the result is a confused stranger not knowing if I was breathing or giving a salutation. Elevators are the absolute worst.

The looming thought of riding 24 floors with a stranger in silence is enough to make me go crazy.

Then there's the shuffle. I know it. You know it. We all know it.

The shuffle.

When the lady gets off at the 14th floor, there is a sudden urgency to balance the equilibrium in the elevator. We all shuffle no more than 1 to 2 feet to a more satisfying position.

Why shuffle?

The 8th wonder of the world, the psychology behind the elevator shuffle.

Day 2 of 4 Without Marni

What I've accomplished in the first hour:

1. Listened to an extensive True Grit movie review from the only other co-worker in the office.

2. Contemplated which Starbucks drink I'm going to buy. (winner. although it never actually looks like this.)

3. Talked to Marni on g-chat.

Day 1 of 4 without Marni

What I've accomplished:

1. Drank 72 ounces of water from my new camelbak water bottle.

2. Read three chapters from this page-turner.  

3. Kept my skin hydrated.

4. Entered this amazing giveaway at www.yellowsongbird.blogspot.com! Too good, check it out.

Come back Marni.... come back soon.......

Second Life

In this episode of the Office, Dwight Schrute plays a game called "Second Life." It's his escape from the office as he dives into the life of a character that he wishes he could be.

Marni and I also have a Second Life at the Office. We call it "Etsy Moms."

In our second life, we are moms that stay at home with our children, and create beautiful crafts that we sell on Etsy. The way we immerse ourself in this life is by finding blogs about sewing, crafting, cooking, and more....basically, living vicariously through the real Etsy moms :)

Here are some of our favorites:

• Cakies Blog Really adorable kids, fun recipes, clothes, and crafts! Like these pillows!!

[photo credit]

• Bleu Bird Vintage Emily's new favorite. I love that they just do what they like!
  

[photo credit]

• Young House Love DIY home decor + really cute couple (now with a baby!) = YHL. Young House Love, y'all are just presh. We initially came across this blog when we saw some of the Petersik's awesome DIY wedding pictures! They put in a lot of effort to make the day special and unique - using so many cool techniques that were fun and inexpensive! Here are some pics:

[photo credits]

• Linkel Designs Cool vintage jewelry. This one is Marni's absolute favorite.

Are these not the most precious little earrings you've ever seen??

[photo credit]

So that's our Second Life. We hope to one day call it our First Life. I guess that would just be Life, wouldn't it? But for now....you can find us here, at the office.

We neglected to mention...

...MM and company moved out :(

You can read about the days of yore with MM here.

It came as a great shock, because, if you remember, there was another time we thought they might be moving out - here - but they quickly notified us that, no no, they weren't moving out, and they'd be here "as long as us."

So when they started taking down pictures, we thought, "Nah..."

And when boxes started to appear, emptying their office, "No...it can't be"

And when furniture started disappearing, "It can't be! They said they'd be here as long as us!"

Until one day, this empty shell is all that remained of their office:

We didn't even get a chance to say goodbye!!

Farewell MM and company. We miss you dearly.

the Snuggie - an office MUST have!

Want to be promoted to CFO, but fear the those big drafty corner offices? Fear NOT! With the SNUGGIE's ultra soft fleece you can climb the corporate ladder while staying comfortable and suggly warm!

Ever find yourself leaving conversations early because your co-worker's office is too cold? NO MORE! With SNUGGIE you can talk hands-free for hours about the latest American Idol craze!

Afternoon slump got you down? Finally, an appropriate solution to an afternoon nap on the reception area couch. SNUGGIE's super-large-one-size-fits-all will keep you warm, and appropriate to passer-byers!

Tired of having to get up in the freezing cold office to make copies? SNUGGIE to the rescue! Now you can make copies while staying snuggly warm!

Do you dread taking notes at those pesky Board of Directors meetings? Well NO MORE! SNUGGIE will allow you to take all the notes and doodles you want while keeping your forearm snuggly warm.

Want to take a 10-minute break to gaze outside but do you fear the shock of the cold glass when your hand touches the window? Well NO MORE! SNUGGIE will keep the rest of your body warm while your hand cools off!

Do you find yourself leaving work promptly at 5:00PM because of the chilly office air? Well NO MORE! Now you can look at facebook pictures for hours, hands-free, without getting cold thanks to SNUGGIE!!!!

Do you long to spend your downtime at work reading MAC OS X IN A NUTSHELL, but find it just too cold to read? Well NO MORE! Now the SNUGGIE will allow you to read all the computer programming books with it's oversized sleeves!

Do you want to warm up without drinking 10 cups of coffee which can often lead to mild stomach discomfort?? Well NO MORE! SNUGGIE's ultra soft and luxurious material will keep you warm while you pour your coffee and now you can enjoy just one cup!!!!

Hair today, gone tomorrow

Marni and I needed change. So, we googled celebrities that look nothing like us for inspiration.

Before

After

(If you know what Emily's picture on the left is referring to, you win a grand prize.)

If you're curious about how the office responded, they remained quite true to form...

Concerning Emily's hair.

Jorge: You got your hair cut!! Yeah, you look like... what's her name... um.. ahh... why can't I remember... she's got bangs... ummm.... argh.... OH YEEAH! Ugly Betty!!!!!

Cristobal: Oh? wow, Hm. Well... you and Marni got haircuts... what did you go to the same salon or something?

Diego: Hahaha you look so goth.

and then the next day...

Diego: actually I was thinking more along the lines of Xena, Warrior Princess

Jorge: Xena! hahaha

Diego: Yeah, that's what I keep thinking when I see her.

Cristobal: YES!!!

Juan: Oh yeah!! You should get a round shield like hers!!!

Marni and Emily: tmi

Concerning Marni's hair.

Diego: (very matter of fact) You got a haircut.

Marni: Yes. It was about time - I really needed one.

Diego: Yeah.

Apparently he agreed.

Jorge: Oh wow! It looks sassy!

Cristobal walks up to my office and stands in the door frame. He says nothing, and I'm in the middle of an email, so I keep going. Finally, I turn around just as he's starting to walk off. He sees me and stops.

Cristobal: Oh, uh, you chopped a lot off.

Marni: Yep. 8 inches!

Cristobal: Yeah...that's a lot...

Marni: Yeah...and it feels so healthy now!

Cristobal turns and walks away, saying nothing more.

Graduation from Peon-hood

You know you've made it a little further up the corporate ladder when the COO posts the following status on Facebook for all the world to see:

Tomás: Emily and Marni are the Bomb.
·about an hour ago· Comment ·

Emily's unnatural obsession with Fanstic Mr. Fox Part 1

The sad-but-true story of the office peons...us :(

we had a special guest come into the office today.

cristobal greets our guest at the door, just as tomás and diego are entering. he introduces them and says "now you've met most of the company!"

emily and I are at the coffee machine making more coffee since our office downs coffee like it's air, and we were the ones to finish off the pot.

cristobal and the guest start making it down the hall toward us. they stop at juan's office on the way, and cristobal introduces juan as some senior-tecchie something or other.

marni (whispering): I wonder what we'll be introduced as?
emily: well, [our official title], of course. we basically run the business.
marni: yeah right...probably customer service peons.
emily: hahaha, good one.

cristobal and guest walk out of juan's office.

emily and I look up and smile, preparing to be introduced.

cristobal and guest walk toward us, and then straight past us, not even looking up.

cristobal: well, that's everyone!

smiles fade. emily and I are shocked.

marni (whispering): we don't even get an introduction??
emily: what the??
marni: are we invisible? they didn't even LOOK at us!
emily: it's because we are making coffee. Face it Marni, we're peons.

we hope to someday be introduction-worthy. when that happens, we'll know we've graduated from peon-hood.

Reason #12489 Why To Work With Your BFF

Emily: In high school Christian and I made a really cool movie imitating "blood diamond".
Marni: That wasn't high school.
Emily: It wasn't?
Marni: No, it was college.
Emily: How do you know?
Marni: Because you posted it online, no one cared, but I thought it was hilarious.

Thank you Marni, for the daily confidence boosts, I am forever grateful.

10 Things To Be Thankful For In 2010

1. Maintenance fixed the automatic toilets so that they no longer flush multiple times while you are sitting.

2. Marni took one for the team, and cleaned the war zone that is the mini-fridge after The Great Coke Can Explosion Of 2009.

3. We have a filtered water pitcher thanks to Jorge. Also, the fact that Jorge calls it a "fildered" water because he doesn't like to say "filtered" since it contains the word "turd."

4. After months of 'Marni's Memos,' people are finally catching on to the phenomenon that we like to call 'clean up after yourself'.

5. When techies gather outside of Marni's door laughing and whispering, it gives Marni an excuse to retreat to the safety that is Emily's office.

6. Holiday treats have stopped arriving.

7.We have started calisthenics to reverse the effects of holiday treats.

If you, like Marni, doubt the existence of the word "calisthenics," see
here.

8. Having window offices and waving to the window washers.

9. New social experiment: See how long we can leave up the Christmas
tree until people start complaining. Marni's bet = end of this week.
Emily's bet = end of January.

10. WORKING WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND! *cue Michael W. Smith's
Friends are Friends Forever*

Static electricity

At least the chairs have good lumbar support.

Pinecrest

http://pinecrestrc.org/
Make sure the volume is up!!

Lyrics (italics added are mine and are not necessarily reflective of Pinecrest core beliefs):

Making your retirement worry free (Bold statement Pinecrest, you've set the bar quite high.)
Come join the Pinecrest family (I'm assuming this means organized snack times like your website promised.)
And friend (Quite presumptuous of you)
You'll never need to move again (What if I want to move again?)
Though your needs may change (Somewhat offensive. More details please...)
Your address will always stay the same (Always?? This is a bit eerie.)
At pinecrest the very moment you move in (More detail.. are we talking when I sign the papers, or once the last curtain is hung? Your vagueness is a huge turnoff.)
A life begins again!! (Are you implying I had no life before? Again, highly offensive.)

Marni, or Mom?

"Hey Mom..er.. I mean.. Marni. oh dear. I am embarrassed. I have no idea why I just called you mom." -Emily

Shout out of the day

Jennifer Cranfill... for your constant gchat support. 

MM- awkward.

This is the story of the most awkward office relationship ever. by emily.

Let me explain the set up of the office. I sit at a luxurious mahogany desk that faces the elevators. Every time the elevator dings I look up to see who gets off. classic pavlov.

If I want to go the restroom, I walk by another office with big glass doors.

One unsuspecting victim is always in my line of view, and I always manage to look even when I'm trying not to look.

When Marni started working here, I told her about our neighbors including unsuspecting victim. She begins looking into their office every time as well. Then the debate starts, "how old is he?" I said about 27. Marni said about 33.
We were arguing about it one day and Cristobal (Dwight) decides to find out for us.

20 MINUTES LATER.
Cristobal: Well his name is MM. He is a self-proclaimed nerd, he has a nice southern accent, he graduated from an Ivy league school and he enjoys long walks on the beach. He's 28.
Emily: what did you say??? the creepy girls down the hall wanted to know???
Cristobal: Eh... not important.
Marni: he's going to think we are stalkers!

At the end of the day, MM comes to the elevator lobby, looks at me, and waves with the facial expression of "did you really send your boss into my office to find out about me?"

After this incident, he started to wave every time he got off the elevator.

Until one fateful day.......

Marni and I were walking to the restroom. MM and co-worker came out of the office. Showdown in the hallway. We've never spoken. We've only waved. What do we do?
He said "hey, how are you?" While I mumbled some unintelligible response, Marni actually responded coherently, as any normal person should.

There is a small sliver of space in the elevator lobby that I can not see from my desk.
After this "showdown in the hallway", MM hid in this space. No wave. Nothing.
At one point he had to catch an elevator that is in my view and he literally ducked his head and scurried in.
But it's not just me, it's Marni too.
She left the building one day and saw him outside, he looked up and almost smiled as he recognized her, until he realized who it was, then quickly looked at the ground and turned around.

We have created a monster. And it appears to be irreversible.

What emily forgot to mention. by marni.

There was one event that emily didn't mention, that I think is the real catalyst for the awkwardness with MM.

One day emily is on the phone with a customer. the elevator dings, and of course she looks up to see who it is. I sit directly across from emily. from where I sit, I can't see the person that has just exited the elevator. all I see is emily a little too quickly and eagerly stand up, wave, and sit back down. just then the person comes into my line of vision. it's MM!

emily hangs up the phone.

marni: EMILY! did you just stand up to wave to MM?
emily: what? NO!
marni: uh...yes you did! I saw you!
emily: no! I was just standing up to straighten my skirt!
marni: well, I think you should know from where I sit, it sure looked like to stood up just to wave to MM...and that's probably what he thinks, too!
emily (blushing and laughing uncontrollably): OH NO!!!!

This occurrence, which from the perspective of all on-lookers (myself and MM) appeared to be an overt display of over-eagerness and desparation, is what I believe really initiated the awkwardness that ensues to this day.

What's in your lunch?

At lunch with Jenn & Marni, Emily tries to convince them that while her Quinoa salad may be bland, it is healthy.

Emily: It is good for you!!!!! It has black beans, corn, computers....
Jenn And Marni: ahahahah
Emily: I mean cucumbers.

Clearly I spend too much time cooped up in the office in front of a computer. I wasn't made for this.