Air Fresheners

When we get time.... we've got a hil-ar-ious story about air fresheners. and by hilarious I mean disturbing.

so we can laugh about it later

Marni this is just for you, words aren't needed. Pinkman.

Family Dinner : Episode #4

Cristobal: I go running in East Dallas where all the Spanish people live. It's very dangerous. The pit bull population is STAGGERING.

Marni: (whispered to Emily) Spanish people??

Emily: Then why do you run there?

Cristobal: Oh, I carry protection.
Emily: A gun??
Cristobal: A rock.
Juan: You should carry another pit bull to counter-attack.
Cristobal: HAHA! Anyway, if I controlled the world, I would eradicate all dogs and cats.
Marni: What?? That's horrible!

Cristobal: If you saw the way most people treat pets..!

Marni: So it's better to kill them ??
Cristobal: The Spanish people in East Dallas don't know how to take care of pets.

Marni: I would LOVE to see all of these "Spanish people" in Dallas.
Emily: Yeah, you know they're probably not "Spanish," Cristobal.
Cristobal: Actually, it's quite obvious they are Spanish. Look at their cheek bones and skin pigmentation. They are most definitely not indigenous, but rather of European descent.

Jorge's Lack of Filter #2

Jorge, despite being called "Jorge" in the bloog, is actually not hispanic, and does not know any Spanish. So he comes into my office in need of some Spanish-speaking help:

Jorge: Can you interpret something for me?

Marni: Your dream? Sure, come on in.

Jorge: Hahahaha. But no. For my housekeeper.

Marni: You have a housekeeper??

Jorge: Yeah, just comes in once a week. I need you to call her and relay a message for me.

Marni: Oh ok. What's her name?

Jorge: Oh, I don't know!

Marni: You don't know her name??

Jorge: Oh, it's like Rosa or something.

Calling housekeeper:

Marni: Hola, llamo por Jorge, quién habla?

Housekeeper: Soy Ana.

Marni whispers to Jorge: Her name is ANA, not ROSA!

Jorge: Oh, yeah yeah yeah...that's right.

After the call:

Jorge: Thanks for doing that.

Marni: No problem. She sounded young - is she young?

Jorge: Oh, I have no idea.

Marni: You don't know??

Jorge: No...my wife is the one that deals with the housekeeper.

Marni: Oh, well, she was very nice.

Jorge: Yeah, but what she doesn't know is that she's about to be FIRED.

Marni: What??

Jorge: Yeah, she's terrible. I'll need to you make another call to her in about a week.

U2 lyrics misleading

on g-chat:

Jorge: hey

you

m

you there

or just starring at this and wondering if you should answer it

I will try Marni

do'

don't warn her
emily: oh hello

bless your heart

why aren't you at work

Jorge: im in sf

emily: with chris?

Jorge: chris is presenting at a conference

gay
emily: in SF?

hahaha

Jorge: yes

emily: why are you on chat

that bored?

Jorge: no really busy

have to go

found what I was looking for

emily: okay

Jorge: so that U2 song was crap after all

"I still haven't found what i am looking for."

well I just did

ok

need coffee

cu

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#17. Why our boss is Dwight Schrute

marni: I'm really blind without my contacts.

boss: I believe that. so am I. I'm just glad I live in the post-Benjamin Franklin era.

marni: you know, I've wondered before, how would I have survived back in the day??

boss: you wouldn't. you would have lived a short brutish life.

marni: what?? that's terrible!!

boss: what? it's true! you would not be able to sense a distant threat.

marni: but I'm a woman!

boss: oh, even WORSE! the middle ages were an especially terrible time for everyone - especially if you were a blind, and even MORE so if you were a woman!

--

emily: I wouldn't eat that jicama salad or baklava if they were the last things on earth.

...boss was staring into space for a few minutes...

emily: I know you are trying to think of something funny to say

boss: No, I'm just thinking that I wish I controlled the world... I would make sure the only thing to eat would be jicama salad and baklava.

--

Midgees

Jorge's Lack of Filter

Think before you speak.

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.

These are just a few pearls of wisdom we have heard since the time we were young. From previous posts, it is probably evident that these aren't really things Jorge has ever taken to heart, as we recapped in an earlier post here. His lack of filter causes this really very kind and well-intentioned man to say some pretty embarrassing and sometimes down right offensive things.

Thankfully, though, Jorge takes constructive criticism well, and we've brought the matter to his attention. And it seems like it's working! He really has been more thoughtful with his words, making an effort to compliment us women of the office. We really appreciate the effort.

This morning I walk into the office with curly hair. It's the first time I've tried my hair curly with my new haircut.

So, as you can see, it's pretty voluminous, but not completely O.O.C. (out of control).

Normally, I would expect an over-the-top response from Jorge. But, again, it really seems like he has taken our lectures to heart and is trying really hard these days. So I'm optimistic.

I walk into the office this morning.

Marni: Hi Jorge!

Jorge: Whoa! Why, hello fluffy, poofy, curly head girl!

Sigh.

I guess it's true - you really can't teach an old dog new tricks.

Want to sit in a Ferrari?

I walked into the lobby in our office building today greeted by free donuts and coffee from some corporate advertiser. Part of the "display" was a Ferrari race car. It was the CEO's. It was cute, but the real bait was the haunting aroma of fresh coffee accompanied by donuts. All you have to do is give all of your information and enter to win a Best Buy gift card. So I succumbed to a fate of sales calls for a small cup of coffee. The salesman asked if I wanted my picture in the Ferrari, I laughed thinking who in the world would actually do that. Talk about embarrassing.

Marni passed the display when she walked in. She wasn't going to fall for this gimmick. But I told her there were donuts, which apparently she had missed before, so we went back together for donuts, and Marni signed her life away in the Best Buy gift card drawing as a token of appreciation.

Salesman: Want to sit in a racecar??

Marni: hahaha...no.

Salesman: You sure???

Marni: yes.

We both witnessed the Salesman's fervor to try to get someone to sit in the Ferrari as business men and women repeatedly and politely declined the invitation.

We continued to wonder aloud who would want to sit in the Ferrari in the middle of a lobby and have their picture taken. It just isn't professional. And as serious professionals here, we didn't dare tarnish our reputation.

Later in our office, Diego comes in:

Diego: Hey did you see they had donuts downstairs?
Marni: Yeah we already got one.
Emily joking: But we didn't sit in the Ferrari.
Deigo: YOU CAN SIT IN IT?!!!?????

Seconds later on Facebook:
Diego My new car is sitting in the lobby of our office building. #wishful-thinking
4 minutes ago · Comment · Like

with a link to the photo he took:

















Case closed. Some things don't remain a mystery for very long.