Chris' Rants
- beets
- bees
- shoes
- kid shoes
- construction
- price
- heels
- grass (especially in relation to city ordnances)
- US government
- insurance industry
- bridesmaids dresses
- “bridesmaids should be allowed to wear a nice pair of slacks if they want to”
- tax (although we don't remember this one, Chris insists he's said this rant to us)
- alcohol
- good v. bad
- wine
- beer and lagers
- church music
- tailoring
- men's dress shirts
- ties
- problems for long torsos
- resale shops
- candy
- Germany
- Dora the Explorer
- suburbia (this was a big one...and it got pretty heated)
- corrupt governments of foreign countries
- Tienanmen Square
- TDI
- state employees
- government clearance levels
- “When we make a lot of $ we will _____”
- Dallas
- neighbors
- “When we move to _____”
- TV (sucks)
- MUSIC (very common rant and topic in general)
- propaganda
- American universities
- Application process
- Standardized testing
- traditions/brainwashing (ie: Aggie ring)
- fine dining
- terrible artwork
- IKEA furniture
- cheese
- poop
- jewelry
- ice
- holidays
- celebrating birthdays, anniversaries, etc
- National Recognition Days (Black History Month, Secretary Appreciation Day, etc)
- diamonds (“intrinsically worthless”)
- laziness/gluttony
- standing on escalators
- wasting one's youth
- obesity
- saturated fats in almonds
- employee handbooks
- weddings and proposals
- San Antonio
- religion
- DTS
- 2002 Jaguar (being a glorified Ford Taurus)
- Switzerland
- dental care
- church leadership
- the “founding fathers” of American/Revolution (all lies)
- Bad design
- poor floor division for AC ventilation
- zoning laws
- poor uses of space
- cheerleaders
- “You haven't seen ___ (movie) yet??”
- “You STILL haven't seen When Harry Met Sally?!” (see below)
- men and women can't be just friends (When Harry Met Sally)
- “Just SAY it!” (in reference to using just a letter to replace profanity)
- fences
- Disney World (boring, ridiculously long lines)
- hiring discrimination laws
- Americans
- grammar
- pronunciations (ironically enough)
- having a degree being more important than experience (baloney)
- fast food
- exercise
- gyms and meatheads
- straightening hair
- makeup (and its overuse)
- Christian bookstores
- furniture
- insect bits in food
- Twitter/Facebook
- the sun is actually good for your skin (Vitamin C)
- skinny fat girls (w/ no muscle mass)
- ex: The Bachelorette (Jillian) and his grandma
- TV and movie branding
- unethical
- should be no advertising to children
- poor construction
- tools (cheaply made hole punch)
- Building codes in America (modern buildings only built to last 20-30 years)
- cell phones in cars
- proper stretching
- incorrect usage of words (especially gay)
- homeowner's associations
- sodium (especially in canned soups)
- phone system
- AT&T
- 1700 Pacific Management
- DISD
- MHMR (and how little they spend on “retards” (courtesy of emily who likes to “take things too far”))
- junk mail
- credit cards (“cheap credit”)
- Seagoville (“nothing good comes from Seagoville”)
- NCAA
- football
- life's not fair
- people shouldn't have the right to vote (we shouldn't have universal democracy, it should be selective)
- panty hose (“panty hose are just silly...and I've actually worn them, thank you very much”)
- men v. women dress codes
- men's loafers
- pets (most people shouldn't have them)
- hot tubs (one big saltlick, taking a bath with a bunch of dirty, sweaty strangers)
- disrespect (NOT a word)
- until we looked it up online. And it is. Ha, Chris.
- Perfume
- Burger King (it's disgusting)
- unprepared journalists
bahahhahaha! ooohhh maannnn....I miss chris and his crazy rants! it's TRUE!! hahaha. among my favorites would be: "bridesmaids should be allowed to wear a nice pair of slacks if they want to" (holy moly, that's hilarious), skinny fat girls, including HIS GRANDMA (hahahahhhaa), MHMR, and seagoville. oy...this was a great flashback...thanks em :)
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