Cristobal - Terms of Endearment

We've had a lot to say over the years about Cristobal - aka Dwight Schrute, aka Michael Scott, aka Boss Man...

If you've read our posts about him, you've probably got a pretty good idea of who he is formed in your head:

-he's unique/quirky/odd/strange
-he's opinionated/argumentative/outspoken
-he's informative/intelligent/well-read

One aspect of Cristobal that is just slightly out of place is his use of terms of endearment. Actually, one in particular. It's not unusual for him to say any or all of the following:

"Make Tomás happy. He's such a sweetie."

"Jack - what a sweetheart."

(on the phone): "Aww, you are too sweet."

Just when you think you start to really know a person....

Pushing the (Jesus) envelope with our customers

Marni: A customer just emailed me, "Please cancel my account, I am moving in with my fianceé." Is this a confession? Am I a priest?
Emily: Hahahah. Maybe reply back with a biblical verse about marriage? And sign it "Sincerely, Jesus Christ"
Marni: Or maybe, "You sure you don't want to wait until after the wedding?" Maybe he's just looking for an out!
Emily: Yessss!
Marni: Or, "Ok, I'll cancel. P.S. Check out my church's website here!"
Emily: LOLOLOLOL
Marni: Ok, I just emailed you the final draft. Let me know what you think.

Draft Email:

Dear {Customer},

Congratulations on the engagement!

Your account has been canceled. You will receive an automated email confirming this.

We wish you the best. (Jesus)

Sincerely,

Marni

Emily: Haha! YES!
Marni: Send? Too much?
Emily: Just put "Jesus" WHITE writing so he only sees it if he highlights. It's like an encrypted gospel message.
Marni: Ok, I sent it.

Sent Email:

Dear {Customer},

Congratulations on the engagement!

Your account has been canceled. You will receive an automated email confirming this.

We wish you the best.

Sincerely,

Marni

Emily: Oooh! You didn't do "Jesus"!
Marni: How could I ??
Emily: Be bold. Romans 1:9
Marni: Lol. Well, maybe he'll respond and say "thanks!" and then tell me something about the wedding...and we can go from there
Emily: Oooh good.

Ok, {customer}, the ball's in your court... :)

#24. Why Our Boss is Dwight Schrute

Marni: Would you ever buy a Mercedes or BMW?
Cristobal: Are you kidding? Just get a Hyundai.
Marni: Okay, but if you wanted a car to last a long time what would you get?

Cristobal: A Hyundai is like a cheap luxury vehicle.

Marni: You aren't answering the quesiton! If money was no object which car would you buy to last the longest???? 

Cristobal: I wouldn't buy a car.

Marni: What? Why?

Cristobal: Cars are depreciating assets. I would buy land. 

((Of course you would buy land and probably start a beet farm.))

Spring Update Video

Totally pointless. Enjoy.

Spring has Sprung

Like family

I just received an email from Tomás.

It was a photo update on his home improvements.

The subject: Sanding Day


The email went to exactly 3 people:

- his only daughter
- his only son
- me

Apparently Tomás thinks of me like one of his own children. Precious.

Tomás is such a sweetie.

Dwight Schrute

likes girly magazines :)

You say Goodbye, I say Hello... Part 2

Juan informed us today that he's not actually leaving

 (two days ago he was leaving, read it here).

First we were confused...

    

then we were a little annoyed...

then we were like "was this some kind of joke??"

and then we were angry.

but then we realized Juan didn't mean to dupe us - he just had a change of plans.
so we welcomed him "back" with open arms

and we asked if we could keep his toys.
"please...?"

but he said no :( so we were sad...

...very sad.

but then we thought of the roller coaster of emotions we had been put through

and we got angry!

so we decided to take our friends back :)

PHEW.

what a day.

Jorge's Lack of Filter #4

This isn't so much a lack of filter, but more a Jorge-ism...but here we go...

I'm coming out of the copy room next to Jorge's office, headed back to my office.

Jorge: Hey Marni!
Marni: Yeah?
Jorge: Hey, that color looks really good on you!
Marni (coming closer): Really? You think so?
Jorge: Yeah!
Marni: Oh yeah? Thanks Jorge! But I always thought this color washed me out...you don't think it washes me out?
Jorge: No...
Marni: Aw, well thanks Jorge!
Jorge: Hey, Marni...
Marni: Yeah?
Jorge: Could you close my door?

Grr........he didn't mean a word of it! It was all just a ploy to get me to close his door for him! Why I oughtta......

catering FAIL

normally we are just thrilled with our catering selection.

here is what we ordered this week from our caterers which we will call "BTB":

New York 12.95 per person
- Crisp Romaine Hearts with Caesar Dressing, Focaccia Croutons and Parmesan Cheese
- Grilled Chicken Lasagna
- Ratatouille of Zucchini, Squash, Carrots and Tomatoes
- Italian Cream Cake
- Fresh Baked Garlic Bread

sounds amazing right??

wwweeellllllllll....it wasn't! It was reeking of Nutmeg and all sorts of funky chicken-like substitutes.

We decided to draft an email to BTB expressing our disappointment:

Emily's email to Marni at 4:35PM

BTB,

WTF?

No Nutmeg.

XOXO,

E & M

Marni's email back at 4:40PM

my edits:

BTB,

WTH (a little softer)

NMN *No More Nutmeg*

XOXO

E & M

P.S. That was CHICKEN???

Emily's Email at 4:43PM

my edits:

BTB,

WTHELLO OPERATOR?!?!?! (no room for assumptions)

NMN!!!!!!!!!!!

XOXO LMC555555 *LMC5 = Love you Miss you Call you in 5*

E & M

P.S. That was $%*#&@!!? CHICKEN???

now all that's left to decide is whether or not to send to BTB...