Blast From The Past : Bad Omens

Marni has an debilitating fear of stepping on bananas. 

Emily: Don't open the umbrella in here!! It's a bad omen!!

Marni: Emily, do you believe in Jesus or what???

Emily cleans out her purse, every 6 months. Not an omen. Just weird.

Blast From The Past : Stock Show

Once upon a time, our boss actually made us go to the Fort Worth Stock Show and Rodeo in hopes of selling our product. This is our story in pictures.

trying to "fit in"

mmm...the smell of dung...

marni's first week on the job - "what did I get myself into???"

no one cared about what we were selling...

stock show types prefer the Can-Am Spyder

there were a few kind souls who humored us by at least pretending to be interested

Scotty McCreery!

we love scotty! 

"Scotty makes me like country." -emily

"Scotty's 'sexy' eyes creep my out." -marni

(well one of us loves scotty)

i love you this big!

TDF

We've been a little absent in the bloog world for awhile. To our fans, aka the one reader, pseudonym "Anonymous," that commented about our hiatus..."weeeeee're baaaaaaack!...everybody...???"

And with the long-awaited TDF post.

In case your memory fails you, or our bloog is not as popular as we assume it is, TDF is our new coworker. But no longer the newest...guess we'll have to do a post on NG (new guy) soon too... You can read about our intro to TDF here.

How to describe TDF???

Well, if we were to describe him in Office terms, he would be, in a word, or rather, character, Kevin.

Yes, Kevin Malone.

Why, you ask?

1. He is big - I don't think we're overstepping any boundaries here, he's a pretty self-proclaimed and obviously large man.

2. He walks and talks pretty slowly...true to Kevin form. He has very long pauses between sentences that make you wonder, is this conversation done?

3. He eats...a LOT. On taco day, he stopped at 10 tacos - plus chips, beans, rice, etc - because he didn't want to "go overboard."

4. He makes totally random habitual comments, as follows:

-To me, every single day my hair is curly (and when I say every single day, I mean every.single.day)-

"Oooh, I see you decided to go with the curls today! Why did you decide to go curly? It must be humid outside."

To Emily, as each weekend approaches:

"You watching soccer this weekend? Are you going to any soccer games? I love soccer"

Ok, so there are also plenty of other NON-kevin-like things about TDF - the fact that he's a programmer, and really smart, just enrolled in a graduate program at Texas A&M - WHOOOOOP!, has a wife and two children, and on and on...

#25. Why Our Boss Is Dwight Schrute

::At our weekly catered family lunch::

TDF: Guess there's no butter with this meal?
[Cristobal mutters something under his breath]
Emily: What?
Cristobal, slightly melancholy: Oh nothing, I was just reminded that my wife still suffers from putting butter on the table at dinner.

[apparently putting butter on the dinner table is something from which you can "suffer"]

--------

::Talking about an upcoming interviewee::

Marni: Oh are you excited about the interviewee?
Emily: Yeah, does he have potential???
Cristobal: We'll see. He has an interesting background...He was in the air force.
Marni: Oh military! You love that!!
Cristobal: Meh. The air force is the weakest of the service branches.

g-chat : 2000's :: email : 1990's

this one just tickled me... :)

me: whatcha doin?

emily: trimming split ends

me: lol

me prestarías tus tijeras?

porfa?

emily: ?!!??!?!?!?!

#nohablospanish

me: #quépasó?

{side note: two years ago, when I first started working here, emily would always insist that she was fluent in spanish. I think she was jealous that I was hired as the bilingual one in the office. hehe}

g-chat : 2000's :: email : 1990's

today we learned how to link our twitter accounts to our facebook pages. if you dare, re-live this moment with us...

marni: I kind of want to link my twitter to my fb...so I actually use twitter

emily: HAHAH do it!!!

marni: hm. can't figure out how #blessmyheart

emily: http://support.twitter.com/articles/200773-i-x2019-m-having-trouble-using-twitter-with-facebook

marni: ahh...it is through fb

emily: yah weird

FB does control all

marni: creepy

emily: i'll test it

i linked them

dont know how to make it go to FB tho...

marni: mine acts like it's still loading

it's taking forever

emily: its not

click out of that

marni: oh

ok

emily: see my tweets?

marni: no

emily: me either...

seeking help

if it goes to your facebook first...mark my words!!

marni: baha

emily: ohhhh

that checked box on the facebook apps page DOES have to finish loading

i was wrong

#again

#fail

#failure

#sorrymom

marni: haha

marni: you little.....

{emily tweeted: yes i beat @marniwalsh at figuring out twitter + facebook = ♥}

emily: MAUHAHAHAHAH

{marni tweeted: work now? #gettingimpatient}

marni: YESSSSS

it WORKED

emily: i beat youuu

marni: you gave me faulty information

emily: sucker

{marni tweeted: hellloooooo twitter to facebook! #imanewwoman}

emily: thats your problem not mine

marni: or is it....?

#judgementday

muahahhaa

{marni tweeted: emily is a cheater and a liar #faultyinformationisbad}

emily: lozer

people are going to start blocking you if you don't control your tweets

marni: this is dangerous

#losingcontrol

emily: hehehehe

{marni tweeted: I apologize for the flood of tweets. calming down now. #facebookmakestwitterfun}

marni: baha

love this

emily: #toofun

marni: it's like MAGIC when it appears on my wall!

#houdini

emily: #ghandi

#buda

#ohwait

marni: #jesus

emily: #davidcopperfield

marni: saved us both

marni: #theworldisabetterplacewithhashtagsI'mjustsaying

emily: #stopsneezing

#itsnasty

#psiloveyou

marni: #grrrr

#youcan'tjustsaypsiloveyouandmakeeverythingbetter

emily: #thatsexactlywhatitdoes

#psiloveyou

#you stink

#psiloveyou

marni: #youarepushingmybuttons!!!

#ourhumorhasreachedanewlevelwithhashtags

g-chat : 2000's :: email : 1990's

marni: who is vacuuming?

emily: I'm plucking my eyebrows

marni: ooohh....that's what I'm hearing!

g-chat : 2000's :: email : 1990's

we're going to start this new little segment for which we already have plenty of material.

remember those terrible SAT questions that went something like this:

1.) BIRD : NEST ::

(A) dog : doghouse
(B) squirrel : tree

(C) beaver : dam

(D) cat : litter box
(E) book : library

they are called analogy questions.

this has nothing to do with those awful questions other than to explain that, as with those questions, ":" means "is to" and "::" means "as."

hence, the title of this segment is:

g-chat is to the 2000's as email is to the 1990's

in this segment, we will document some of our most hilarious/random/crazy g-chat conversations. just for fun. every once in awhile.

enjoy :)

April Fools 2011

April 1st, 2011.

Sadly, we weren't prepared for this day. We really shot ourselves in the foot by playing the prank of the century in 2009 and fooling every one of our co-workers. Read about it here.

In 2010, we did some pretty lame pranks that didn't work. The classic chain o' scraps around Juan's desk, the ol' glass upside down filled with water (major pain to clean up), and the packing peanuts fall from the ceiling gag...except it wasn't so classic becuase they didn't fall.

Enter 2011!

Marni: BAH! It's April Fool's Day! We need a joke!
Emily: I could get crutches?
Marni: I'm pregnant?
Cristobal walking by: Nice try, I heard both of those.

Marni: Dang it!
Emily: Uuhh...I'm schizophrenic!
Marni: I have post traumatic stress syndrome...you can't tell...but I do!

- no response from the boss -
Emily: I know, let's google office pranks.


Although not as good as 2009, definitely better than 2010.

We call it Vintage Office Gag and it goes a little something like this:

Label everything in your co-worker's office with post-it notes.

We'll let the pictures do the rest of the talking...