Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Restraining Order On Customers


From: Marni Walsh
Date: Wed, Sep 30, 2009 at 2:28 PM
Subject: restraining order, perhaps?
To: John, Doug, Chris, George, Tom


this is an email sent from a policyholder to emily.  she helped fix a situation with his bank not recognizing us as an insurer.

"Thank you Emily,

Emily thank you for all of your help now I'll give them a call and find out how much they owe me $$$ since I've paid in the past $100.00 with every payment.  If I get a refund Emily I'll take you out to lunch DEAL?  But serious I owe you big time, so think of a place to go to lunch and just tell your co-workers it's your cousin from out of town and that I'm here for the week and for them to mind their own business !!).  Ok Emily thank again I'll keep in touch, remember were now in the year 2009 and the women can call the guy and say I'll take you up on the lunch part with out being so shy.  Well take care and I hope to hear from you, the BALL IS IN YOUR COURT for lunch.

Thank you
Jorge"


-----------------------------

Marni: This convo just happened


Calvin: oh! well I was gonna give y'all more money!
Me: well you can keep your money for now!
Calvin: wow! you never hear that one! haha...so, I guess I can take my money and go out to eat!
Me: that sounds like a good idea!
Calvin: are you into dirty old men?? haha
Me: 
Calvin: I'm 82!
Me: uhh...
Calvin: maybe YOU can come out to eat with me! haha
Me: oh...ha...I don't think my husband would like that too much
Calvin: well, if you don't tell him, I won't!
Me: oh...heh...soooo, yep, you don't need to renew your policy until September!

The Classic "Working From Home" Email

Working from home tomorrow + Errands
Inbox
X

Reply
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Doug @com to Chris, me, Marni, John
show details 10/8/09
Due to the fact that it's supposed to rain all day tomorrow, I'm going to work from home and take some time to get some errands done such as getting my TX drivers license, car registration, etc.

Doug

Emily Burrows to Doug, Chris, Marni, John
show details 10/8/09
Due to the fact that it's supposed to rain all day today. I'm going to leave work and go home and watch TV shows and listen to Miley Cyrus.

Goodbye,

I remain,

Emily

Marni Walsh marni.walsh@com to Doug, Chris, me, John
show details 10/8/09
Due to the fact that it's supposed to rain tomorrow, I will be at home in my pjs watching TV all day.

thank you.

I remain,

marni

Emails From Marni

Due to Stress
Inbox
X

Reply
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Marni Walsh marni.walsh@com to Chris, John, George, Doug, me
show details 10/29/09
I will be taking an "I need some frickin peace of mind" day on Monday.  I shall return if and only if I get said peace of mind.

You will all miss me.

This is a statement of fact, not a question.

Trusting you appreciate my position,

And agree with everything I have said and ever will say,

I remain,

Sincerely,

Cordially,

Regretfully,

Amicably,

Yours,

Marni (aka, my name of the day, "Money")

Emails from Tomas

This one was serious......


Don't Let this Happen



Tom  tom@com to Tom, Chris, Doug, John, George, Marni, me
show details 1/20/10

  • In your organization, what prevents people from "connecting the dots" with important information?
    Corporate silos blocking information flow 33.46%
    Unwillingness to speak truth to power 25.24%
    No direct responsibility/"not my problem" attitude 19.94%
    Poor listening/unwillingness to hear bad news 11.28%
    Political correctness 6.12%
    Paucity of information 3.96%
Marni Walsh marni.walsh@com to me
show details 1/20/10
wow.  this was revolutionary for me.  thank you, tom, THANK YOU!

Emily Burrows to Marni
show details 1/20/10
lololololol

Emails from Tomas

Tomas also sends tons of Forwards, Chain letters, Pictures of Animals. Etc.



On this particular day he sent an email forward about a Koala smoking, this was Marni and I's response:

Marni Walsh marni.walsh@com to John, tamccall, Chris, Doug, me, George, Thomas
show details 1/29/10
I can honestly tell you that this joke makes absolutely no sense to me.  But I don't care to have any of you try and explain it.
Emily Burrows to Marni, John, tamccall, Chris, Doug, George, Thomas
show details 1/29/10
I can honestly tell you that I found this joke offensive as I happen to really appreciate Koala bears. 
Tom tam@.com to me, Marni, John, Chris, Doug, George, Thomas
show details 1/29/10
Then I am sorry I sent it.  At least the Koala bear was not hurt.
Tom

Emails from Tomas

Tomas frequently sends emails of his travels around Texas, and the U.S. Apparently Marni and I were not appeased by this one.

I am in Austin today; enjoy!

Tom tom@com to Chris, Doug, John, me, Marni
show details 4/22/10
If you need something; text is better than calling.

Marni Walsh marni.walsh@com to me
show details 4/22/10
he's telling US to enjoy, or saying he'll enjoy? and enjoy what?? 

Emily Burrows to Marni
show details 4/22/10
enjoy the death trap that is this office.

Marni Loves Fadi's Catering

Marni Walsh marni.walsh@com to me
show details 6/9/10
FADI'S AS SOON AS CHRIS GETS OFF THE PHONE!!! I'M SOOOO EXCITED! IT LOOKS SOOOO GOOD! I ordered a bigger order of pitas this time (for 20 to 30 people, instead of 15 to 20) and it's a BIG tray of pitas!!! woohoo!!! I feel like it's a more accurate amount for the amount of food we have, though.  either way, likely leftovers for you on friday :) unless the auditors catch wind that the leftovers are for everyone... :-/

Marni Walsh marni.walsh@com to me
show details 6/9/10
I'm literally so excited about lunch I'm shaking! what's wrong with me??? bahaha

Sylvia

Sylv: "I have a cup that needs to be washed? what do I do with it?"

Doug: "JUST LEAVE IT IN THE SINK OR ON THE COUNTER!"

Another Chapter Ending

I want to remember all the crazy, annoying, hilarious, boring things here. So the next few posts will be just that. Memories for myself. :)

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

How Our Boss is Michael Scott

So Today, our company changed.  Think "Michael Scott's Paper Company". 

Well we had an investor come into The Office today to check out the new company. I will say, I was the only employee who did not get introduced to him. My guess is because I wasn't wearing makeup today.

In true Michael Scott fashion, Cristobal had adorned the reception desk with crossaints, oranges, salami, and swiss cheese. 

At the "presentation" all the techhies gave their schpeel about why the new company is worth his millions, the investor seemed interested, shook hands, and left. As soon as the elevator bell went off, Cristobal bursts into cheers and high fives were all around. Of course, I'm watching all of this take place in the hallway while I'm in my office. 

Cristobal: "ALRIGHT! GOOD JOB BOYS!!! LET'S GO DRINKING!"
(silence)
Cristobal: "No seriously. You boys did great. Even if we don't get the deal he was really impressed."
(silence)
Cristobal: "SO THE OFFICE IS CLOSED! Go home!!! Come in late tomorrow!!!!!"
(hear a couple of faint "woo hoo" and "alright")
Cristobal: "WHERE DO YOU BOYS WANNA DRINK?"
Tecchie: Well I gotta be on a plane at 7:30PM.
Cristobal: "THEN LET'S GO!!!! DON'T COME INTO WORK TOMORROW! TAKE THE DAY OFF!!!!"
(silence)

Cristobal walks off triumphantly while the tecchies mumble to themselves.