PK's "Rave Reviews"

In Marni's first post of "Blooging from Beyond", she mentioned our newest employee "PK" and how he had "Rave Reviews" from Emily.

Well let's define "rave".

PK hasn't won me over yet. In fact, I plain don't like him. I know that sounds harsh, but let me explain.

For starters, he's extremely quiet. So if, for example, I'm writing a bloog post about how I am not a huge fan of a new employee, how am I supposed to click over if he's at my door?!

Secondly, he makes lots of "jokes" about how his wife will "tell him" what color curtains they want for their new home. Just cut the macho gag PK.

Thirdly, he was a surgeon so he talks about medical jokes at lunch that are, quite frankly, disgusting.

But you know what I realized? All that stuff if forgivable. I can get over it. And I'm sure he's a swell guy. But you know what the problem really is?

PK IS IN MARNI'S OFFICE. 

Yep. I had the revelation today. That as long as PK resides in Marni's office, there's going to be unspoken hostility towards him.

disclaimer: I'm actually quite pleasant to PK's face. He has no clue that every time I walk past his office glaring it's not actually because of who he chooses to be, just that he is in my BFFs office. I should have memorialized Marni's office. Sigh. 

Blast From The Past : Friends Are Friends Forever

Although Marni doesn't work here anymore, she still lives in our hearts forever. 

Blooging from the Beyond

Hello bloog readers. It's me. Marni. YES! MARNI! I know you all missed me. While I'm not back in the office or anything (tear), I'm going to try and come back to the bloog. I'm "blooging from the beyond."

I sure have missed you all. And the office - well, sort of. The funny stuff anyway. But mostly I've missed Emily. Dear sweet Emily...

Speaking of Emily, it's her b-day on Sunday. And as the former coordinator of all things celebratory in the office, I felt that I should take it upon myself to inform all of the employees so that they'd remember to do something special for her on Monday.

So I sent an email to Cristobal, Tomas, Diego, Juan (even though he's not even IN the office anymore either), Jorge, TDF, NG, and PK - even though I've never even met PK (but I've heard RAVE reviews about him from Emily, so I thought he should be included).

Subject of the email: "hello from marni...remember me?"

True to form, Tomas (known to one particular coworker, who shall remain nameless, as "the sweetie") is the first to reply. He wants to know what kind of cake Emily wants. Aw...SO SWEET!

Next to respond is TDF. Also, true to form, TDF responds with a witty, sarcastic email, short and sweet: "hmmm...not ringing any bells. which one were you again?"

Haha, TDF. SOOO funny.

So I decide to respond with an equally witty and sarcastic email:

"tall, heavy set, red hair, glasses..."

Ha! All of my opposites.

Funny, right?

WRONG. I realized only after I hit SEND that I just perfectly described TDF!!!! OH DEAR!!!

It was too late to "un-send" my email (thank you, btw, gmail, for having that nice little feature at all...I was just too late), so I tried to think of how I could dig myself out of the embarrassing hole I just put myself into - I mean, who describes someone as HEAVY SET to their face??!? I mean, not that I was actually describing him, but when you read a description that sounds like you, you're going to think, "oh, that sounds like me!"

So I followed up with:

"still not ringing any bells? I like reggae, technology, and dragons."

He responded 42 min later with the following:

"ah, how is south carolina?"

PHEW. I'm in the clear! Crisis avoided...I hope!!

Until next time...

Xoxo,

Marni

#26. Why Our Boss is Dwight Schrute

Emily: RD is going to Argentina on Thursday

Cristobal: That's what heaven will be like.

Emily: What?

Cristobal: All I know about heaven is we'll be in the presence of God, we won't have worries, and other things I don't know how to interpret...

Emily: like what?

Cristobal: I don't know. Speaking of strange things... the duck-billed platypus. 

Emily: (blank stare)

Cristobal: Did you know a duck-billed platypus is poisonous???? 


Emily: I did not.


Cristobal: yah! A sting from a duck-billed platypus can kill you!!

Emily: wow.. just wow. 

Death by Customer Calls

25 minute conversation with 80 year old lady!

"I have green eyes."
"Banking crisis is bad."
"The housing loan dept screwed Washington Mutual."
"I hope the right person gives you guidance."
"I hope you have a sharp attorney."
"I'm just using you as a sounding board."


I DON'T CARE LADY!!!

New Employee - PK

Well Marni isn't here to haze the new employee, or to give him a nickname.

We'll call him PK. Not because those are his initials or anything.

PK is a surgeon who wanted a career change. He's surprisingly normal for a techie and I think the other techies don't really know how to react to a normal techie. No Star Trek Wars paraphernalia. We'll see how he fares. Cristobal in the meantime is developing what I definitely predicted. A man-crush on the new normal techie. I overheard Cristobal telling PK that "if this deal goes well, we'll all be getting valet parking." Really Dwight Schrute? Valet parking? I think I remember you saying that in 2008. And I didn't believe you then.

Nevertheless, today is family lunch with PK the new guy. Not to be confused with NG, the recent addition to the Office who is also a self-promoting YouTuber. Should be interesting.

Life Without Marni

So we said we'd kill the bloog. But the last week has been interesting (not at all) and I just want to remember (live to forget) the times I worked (cried) here without Marni.

What can go wrong when your best friend leaves:
1. Your boss lies to the new employee and says you are getting married in December because "baby due in July."

2. Someone steals your notary stamp without permission. Two problems: (1) The legality of stealing a notary stamp and (2) Rooting around in my drawer for the stamp.

3. Emily: "This is Emily, how can I help you?"
Customer: "Hi can you transfer me to Emily BURROWS?"
Emily: ".......Hold please"
(wait 30 seconds)
(transfer)
Emily: "This is Emily"

4. Emily: "And that's how you buy a policy."
Customer: "Great thanks, I have a question about claims too, oh but you don't know anything about claims you're JUST a customer service rep, transfer me to a claims person please."
Emily: "Sure right away."
(wait 20 seconds, check facebook)
(transfer)
Emily: "Claims how can I help you?"

5. Family lunch conversation:
Diego: The repairman fixed my roof.
TDF: Did he arrive on time?
(Everyone laughs)
(crickets)
(15 minutes later)
Bossman: "Soooo Emily..... how are... um.... purses???"
Emily: "Purses?"
Bossman: "You know with the refugees."
Emily: "Oh, very good, thanks."

6. Everyone looks at you sympathetically each time they walk by your office. Especially when the lights turn off automatically due to inactivity.

Farewell Marni

While I can't seem to find the words, I did find several hours to make this Farewell video.

Personal Business is Now Everyone's Business - Round 2b

reactions to the CALL MOM sticky note "social experiment" :

unsuspecting victim #1:

I rode up the elevator with a girl in her mid-twenties, like me. I think she saw the sticky, but had no reaction. she texted the whole time. #fail #mygenerationstinks

unsuspecting victim #2:

I rode down the elevator with an older gentleman. I saw him notice the sticky note, but he made no reaction...UNTIL we stopped on the 18th-or-so floor and a buddy of his got on.

man 1: hey there, frank {or some other generic middle-aged man name}, I think there's a message on here for you!

man 2: huh?

man 1: "call mom"! {pointing to the sticky}

man 2: oh! hahah

man 1: I know! "call mom" hahahaa

I also look up and laugh, so as not to appear "suspicious"

#success

unsuspecting victim #3:

I rode back up the elevator with two older women. they were off to the side toward the front, and I was in the back in the middle, pretending to text. both of them noticed the note, but neither one said anything, so I decided to break the ice.

me: {looking up from my "texting"} haha

lady 1: haha, yeah, I saw that! "call mom"!

lady 2: I don't think that belongs there - hahaha

me: haha

#doublesuccess

unsuspecting victim #4:

during a lull at lunch...

me: hey, so did anyone see any weird notes in the elevator today?

emily gives me a look that says "smooth, marni"

tdf: notes?

me: yeah, like reminders to do something? I saw one that said "call mom" - ha. it was funny

cristobal: no, but I saw one yesterday that said "food in fridge" by the elevator

emily: oh really?

marni: huh...that's weird

#we'lltakeit

Personal Business is Now Everyone's Business - Round 2

today's sticky note reminder: CALL MOM!

what an important reminder, not just for us, but for everyone! and what a better place to put it than on the inside of the elevator doors?? for all to see...hehehehe

next step: ride along to see people's reactions :)