We neglected to mention...

...MM and company moved out :(

You can read about the days of yore with MM here.

It came as a great shock, because, if you remember, there was another time we thought they might be moving out - here - but they quickly notified us that, no no, they weren't moving out, and they'd be here "as long as us."

So when they started taking down pictures, we thought, "Nah..."

And when boxes started to appear, emptying their office, "No...it can't be"

And when furniture started disappearing, "It can't be! They said they'd be here as long as us!"

Until one day, this empty shell is all that remained of their office:

We didn't even get a chance to say goodbye!!

Farewell MM and company. We miss you dearly.

Down Time

Sometimes we have down time.

#22 Why Our Boss is Dwight Schrute

While watching a recent episode of The Office, we could not help but be STUNNED by the UNCANNY resemblance of Dwight and our boss, Cristobal. I know that we have hinted at this many a time, hence the "#22" of this title, but this episode captured the familiarity all too well.

Cristobal has stepped up onto his soap box many a time to rant about the ineffectiveness of hand sanitizer and other inventions of modern medicine (such as medicine itself) so many times that we are almost certain that the writers of The Office must have a bug in our office to have "come up with" the opening scene of this episode:

View Episode

(specifically 00:40 through the opening credits)

p.s. I'm shocked that in our blog-writing time, we have never linked a video to The Office! How is this possible??

Major Party Foul

You may or most likely may not know, every Wednesday we have a nice catered lunch to the office. It was started in effort to promote company unity. We call it "family dinner", you can read about some of the Dwight Schrute-inspired conversations at family lunch here, or here.

Yesterday's catered lunch menu was one for the ages.

Brown Sugar and Cinnamon Plantain Chips

Caribbean Pulled Pork Tacos, with Lime, Orange, Cilantro and Flour Tortillas

Black Beans and Rice

Coconut-Banana Bread Pudding

Marni and I always stretch out the leftovers for about 6 more meals each. So it's really

a win-win. Today we went in for leftovers and found the "pulled pork" sitting in a sludgy substance that Marni promised was just "fat". It was highly unappetizing but we ate it anyway.

About 3:30pm after other co-workers have helped themselves to leftovers, we notice the food is STILL in the conference room with the door closed. So we take it upon ourselves to go into the conference room and put the leftovers in the fridge.

We open the door to the conference room and BOOM. WORST SMELL OF MY LIFE. We ran out quickly and began discussing options to rid our office of the smell.

Solution?

0.5 fl oz of "Fine Cologne", that was a gift from Tomas.

We figured the two odors would neutralize themselves to nothingness.

Unfortunately, we did not learn from this post how potent the unwavering stench of this $2 bottle of "fine cologne" is and it's ability to linger for hours...nay... days.

Now the office smells like an old man + an old carpet + fatty pork + dead flowers.

New solution?

LIME. We squeezed limes all over the carpet and into the air and may have rubbed some limes on doors too.

Shockingly the lime did nothing.

Cologne+Lime+Day-Old-Fatty-Pork = Death.

The CEO has called it a "major party foul" and that we were driving him out of his own office.

The tech guys have been sneezing non-stop.

Jorge laughed. (he can appreciate this type of humor/failure)

And Marni claimed her vision was getting blurry.

I'm afraid the smell will leak into the hallways into other tenants offices...

prank

marni: I'm in the mood for a prank.

emily: ok, do one.

marni: and juan's at the dentist. so this would be the perfect time!

the result:

Juan's Office

Cristobal is Highly Influenced

Cristobal whistles. Pretty much all the time. Over the course of our time here at the office, we have realized that WHAT he whistles is very much influenced by things that he hears or conversations he has.

Exhibit A:

Marni: Look, at this statement I received...it's in really indiscernible Spanish....I don't think he ever went to school.

Cristobal: I'm not surprised. He's Mexican.

Marni: I just can't believe he didn't go to school! Don't you think that's sad??

Cristobal: No, that's Mexico.

{Side-stepping the glaring Michael Scott-ness of his politically and socially inappropriate statements}

Two seconds later, as Cristobal walks down the hall, he is heard whistling the Mexican Hat Dance.

#2. Gifts from Tomás

We have decided to start a new recurring thread called Gifts from Tomás

In case you aren't familiar with Tomás, he is the company CFO. He goes on several trips, both for business and pleasure, throughout the year, and always brings back gifts. He's kind of like the company Grandfather. And we mean that in the best way possible. You know how grandfathers are always giving their grandkids these awesome gifts, but usually they don't make a lot of sense?

If you remember, a few weeks ago he came bearing the gift of a glowstick for Marni. You can read about it here.

This week's gift was a surprise.

Tomás walked into Emily's office.

Tomás: Left or right?

Emily: Left.

To her delight, Tomás pulled out a bottle of "Eau De Toilette:Sunflower" by Esté Lauder, a personal favorite of Emily's as the fragrance reminds her of her grandmother. It is very potent.

Next Tomás entered Marni's office. She was on the phone, so he just left the bottle of "Fine Cologne Spray 'Cologne Vaporisateur'" on her desk. When she got off the phone, she noticed the bottle and opened it for a sniff. Her nostrils were immediately overtaken by it's...rich and...um...musky scent.

It didn't take long to find out that one spritz of the toilet water/cologne could fill a whole room in 2.5 seconds! Yet it would last for HOURS.

So we decided to have a little fun with it...

From Emily's office, we poked our hand around the corner into Juan's office and inserted a tiny spray. We crept up to Jorge's door, which was a ajar by a fraction of an inch, and gave him a little spray of each. He caught us on the second spray!

Next we made our way out into the hall and pushed the elevator button, coating the elevator with the smell of "Eau De Toilette : Sunflower" and "Fine Cologne Spray 'Cologne Vaporisateur,'" respectively.

To this day that elevator still lingers with smells of cheap cologne.

#21 Why Our Boss is Dwight Schrute

we had some guests in the office today. and they were kind enough to bring gifts - an economy-sized bag of good ol' fashioned peanut m&m's!

after the guests have left...

cristobal walks by the coffee filter we're using as a candy dish.

cristobal: there are still m&m's left?? I'm surprised you two [Emily and Marni] didn't polish those off hours ago.

marni: I resent that.

cristobal grabs a handful of m&m's. then he plops them in his mouth.

cristobal: oh...BLECH! those are TERRIBLE!!!

marni: they're just regular peanut m&m's

cristobal: oh...blech...

marni: cristobal, you've never had m&m's before?

cristobal: no, I have...I just thought they might have IMPROVED them by now!

marni: hahaha

cristobal: they taste like cheap sugar and wax

for some, nothing's ever good enough...

quiet phones

We had a visitor in and he walked by Marni's office and said:

Jack: I don't want to jinx you or anything, but I've noticed the phones are very quiet

me: hahahahahah

Marni: shush jack! you're gonna put us out of a job!!

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